I want to bring you into a small part of my evening today. 

I’ll set the scene for you.

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It’s day one of my period 

The big one

The worst day of the month and, arguably, of my life

I’ve just put my toddler to sleep

My husband has done most of the routine for the evening

(I just lay on the floor and pointed at things)

He cooked our dinner, cleaned the dishes, hung out the laundry

the full buffet of chores

It’s around 8:30 pm 

Earlier in the day

My son and I were watching the 2006 Disney Pixar film, Cars

We never finished it

I don’t let him have screen time

(much)

But when mama’s endometrium is shedding 

and bringing my entire body down with it

screens get involved 

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It felt a shame to leave the film unfinished 

with the little “how much of this movie I’ve watched” line 

only a quarter of the way full 

that would just sit there for an indefinite amount of time

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So, without thinking

I opened my laptop, clicked play

and never looked back

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I proceeded to sob the rest of the way through the film

I never quite appreciated how significant Lightning McQueen’s 

character progression was in this film

Watching with my son,

we had only seen his arrogant racecar phase 

Radiator Springs hadn’t fully transformed him yet

Heck, he’d barely begun his hero’s journey

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As I continued watching on the couch

With a heat pack tucked into my banana-handprint-stained tracksuit pants

it made me feel some things

is Cars now my favourite movie?

Is Owen Wilson okay? I heard he started a shampoo brand 

Am I jealous of a cartoon racecar

for the strong bond he forms with a disgruntled former racing champion 

And how quickly he was able to turn an entire town around

to support his racing dreams

and drive all the way to watch him compete in California? 

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I don’t even think I have a friend

let alone one that would travel across a country to see me 

drive around in circles

(is it considered driving if he is a car? Is he technically running?)

after destroying the only road in their town

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What a lucky guy. Side note, really need to make some friends.

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Cars ends.

My life has changed forever.

My life is now Pre- and Post-Cars

I wipe away the tears and clumps of mascara from my face 

and settle into my second film for the evening

The cult classic 2006 film Little Miss Sunshine

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My husband makes me a cup of tea

He re-heats my heat pack that has a cat embroidered on it

to remind me of how delicate I am

He puts a blanket over me, and I sink even further into the couch

I first saw Little Miss Sunshine in the cinema as a child

I was 10 years old

My dad felt film content ratings were a social construct

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I’m sure that many parts of the film were lost on me

But I enjoyed it so much 

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We also had it on DVD 

(which was like Netflix for old people but only sometimes)

But rewatching it all this time later

as a mother with a family of my own

(with a newfound passion for talking cars)

it brought a whole new level of meaning to the viewing experience 

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It wasn’t just a film about a weird family 

trying to make their daughter’s dreams come true 

without crushing her precious spirit

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It’s about people believing in their dreams

Chasing the thing that they want most in the world

Falling down when that dream doesn’t work out and getting back up again

Loving people despite their flaws 

Learning how to live again after attempting to end it all

Finding a place to grieve while grieving your own failures

A mother who sacrifices her own happiness for her husband’s dreams

For her son and daughter

For her brother 

For her father-in-law

And holding all of the pieces together 

To break them from their fall 

With a bucket of fried chicken 

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It’s honest about life and failing 

And about growing up

But at the end of it all

We have to be able to laugh at ourselves 

And be there for the ones we love the most 

Cars, on the other hand 

is an animated film about talking cars

and it doesn’t need to be anything else

also the tiny bugs in the movie are also cars

and there are tyre tracks in the sky instead of aeroplane dust 

and it’s proof that we don’t really need AI generated anything

we were fine without it

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Up next, my honest review of Cars 2 and Cars 3

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